you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
