did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
