Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
