I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
