its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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