i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
