Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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