She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
