I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
