I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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