Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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