She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
