me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
