He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
