i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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