It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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