This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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