I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
