Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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