they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
