for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize