you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
