Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
