His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
