I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
