I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I touched a dick in church today
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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