Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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