LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
