He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Even my vagina gasped.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
