Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
