whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
