So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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