"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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