So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i love accidental penises.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
