Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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