dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
