another moral hangover. fuck.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
