Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
