he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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