I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
