Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He felt like a one man threesome
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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