I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it because I queefed?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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