It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
