she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just had sex on a roof
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
