Buhtt sex?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
