fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
