that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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