im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
