You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize