You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
