In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
