is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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