are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How external is "for external use only"?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
