Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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