someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
