He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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