just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
