yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
