She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
