I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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