I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
