I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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