4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
