ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
