Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
