I'm going to jail i love you
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
