Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
