ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
