Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
