Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
