I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
