remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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