3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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