How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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