going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
