New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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